There’s a monster under my bed.

September 18 2006 • in the evening
The news around here has been crazy lately. I lay in bed at night and because I like to torture myself I watch the news before bed. Not exactly the smartest thing to do because when I finally turn off the television, I hear things. Things like the front door opening, someone walking in the hallway into my bedroom. It gets bad enough to where I think I can feel someone standing behind me and I look real fast and... nothing. Thank God. Nothing. I feel like I'm 5 and I think there is a monster under my bed. So many stories lately about kids missing or this. I can't take it. How about this? Some freak knocked on this new Mother's door and asked to use the phone. Next thing she knows, she's in the hospital after 2 surgeries because her throat was slashed and her 1 week old infant - gone. Could you even imagine? These stories aren't doing my sleep cycle any good. Oh and FTR. I'm back on the happy meds. I may even take them long enough for them to help now. Let's hope. I want to look at my husband without wanting to hang him by his nads. If that happens, we've come a long way. A very long way. More torturing I've done to myself here - Bangs In a split second decision at 7 o'clock this morning, I decided to cut my bangs. Now I look like a chubby cheek 12 year old.

 

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Late for Spring Cleaning. Whatever!

September 17 2006 • at lunch time
Cleaning days suck. I used to actually enjoy it - go figure. I do still enjoy it when it's complete but lately that doesn't seem to ever happen. Today I'm goin' for gold. My goal for today is to actually complete my house (heh!) and not hurt the pets or children.

 

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What I do on Friday nights now. Don’t be jealous.

September 16 2006 • in the late morning
I wrecked my truck last night.

I don't know what else really to say now because that is all that is playing in my head. I wrecked my truck last night. Woke up this morning. "I wrecked my truck last night." It's like something you can't believe so you have to keep torturing yourself by constantly reminding yourself of what happened. Like this. "I wrecked my truck last night." See?

The kids and I went to pick up Angela from band last night. I knew I had to be there around midnight but I knew that I didn't have enough gas in my truck to get there and I wasn't sure what time the gas stations closed so I loaded up T.J. and Mags because they were still awake (at 11pm) I had been laying around on the couch since I'd gotten home from work because my toothache is back again. I had taken a few doses of Darvocet (bolded because it plays an important role in the whole, "I wrecked my truck" thing.) I had no business driving, that became apparent when I went to gently glide my truck up to the gas pump. CRASH! and it didn't stop there. Nope. CRASH! BAM! BAM! BANG! Ding! Then I (trying to play it cool) pumped my gas. This car full of teenagers (2 girls, 1 dude) kept staring at me like they couldn't believe what happened, which I realize now... they probably couldn't believe what happened. So since I was feeling all of these emotions and really unsure as to how Bur was going to respond to this, I immediately flew off the handle. Me: "What the fuck are you all looking at? Have you never seen someone hit a damn pole before? Geezus Christ - look at something else and close your damn jaws" Them: (scared shitless at this FREAK of a person who just jacked up her truck, is going on as if nothing happened and is screaming at us because we are in shock and cannot bare to look away.) Finally turn away in awe. Those pore kids. Sorry you had to witness my little temper trantrum last night. My bad. My truck is still wrecked. Damn it! My truck is wrecked.

 

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You’re my B.F.F!!!

September 12 2006 • in the early evening

When I was younger, I had a hard time being friends with girls. I could never keep up with who was my best friend and I was also not very good at keeping up with more than one friend at a time. I do not want this for Mags. I want her to have many friends. She is so special and she should share the wealth, so to speak.

So, remember our "Girls Night In"? Uhm yeah, not a great idea. Keeping 3 girls friends for 4 hours is no easy task. I want to teach Mags how to be a good friend, to more than one person at a time. I want her to learn how to stay neutral with everyone, to not take sides, and to be honest in all she does. More than once, and sometimes even all at once I heard, "I'M NOT YOUR FRIEND!!!" or "I'M GOING HOME!!!"

I think it's going to take more practice.

 

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2,996.

September 10 2006 • in the evening

2996

When I signed up for the 2,996 tribute I had a feeling of excitement when I received the name that I would have the priveledge of honoring. I few short minutes later I received the name of Patrick J. O'Shea of Farmingdale, NY.
Patrick O'Shea was a husband of over 22 years to Sheila and a Father to both a boy and a girl. Here is an additional link to a wonderful tribute to Patrick's life.
Patrick O'Shea

I wish your family peace and love. Always.

 

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